Semi-late New Years Resolutions
So I’ve been thinking about what I want to do for myself this year a lot. Obviously, like everyone else, I want to eat better and exercise more. But that’s something I want to do all the time. I want to better myself, personality wise. Not only on the outside, but on the inside too. So here is what I have so far:
1: Become financially stable. Okay, so most of this is up to Kyle. But we’re still a team, and I’m working 40 hours a week to help out. Regardless, I’m proud of him for his promotion, and I never want to struggle financially like we have the last two years…ever again. So I’m going to budget, save, and pay where, when, and however I need to. I’m going to make sure we stay stable, forever.
2. I have serious confidence issues. I know that everyone thinks they do but mine are not improving with age. I still get nervous in casual conversation. Unless I completely know and trust you 100% I will break out in hives with simple questions. My voice shakes, my brain turns off, and I make no sense. Especially if you have some kind of authority or seniority over me. And I’m too old for that. I need to grow out of it and seriously work on myself, because if I plan on being a successful teacher anytime soon I need to be better with talking to parents and communicating with people I don’t know well. So I’m going to work really hard on growing up and growing out of my worrying, self conscious head. And it’s not going to be easy to break out of my shell.
Haha. Oh, Kyle.
“I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” -Robert Munsch
I saw this quote on someone’s facebook wall today. It made me smile. I put your collar and laser pointer with your urn when I picked up the house. I love you and I miss you more every day.
August 17, 2010-November 26, 2011
I am numb, but loved. Confused, but loved. I feel helpless, but I’m loved. I’m weak, but hopeful. Exhausted, but extremely loved. Naive, but faithful. Scared, but still loved. I am so lucky to have Louie for now, and that I had the chance to have him at all. I am so blessed, but life is so hard. I know that it could any day that I wake up and have to say goodbye. I am not prepared. I am not strong. I feel extremely vulnerable. I am extremely lucky to be so loved and trusted by the best cat in the world. You’ve done more for me than I could ever do for you. Just know that if I could save you from this horrible disease, I would have already. I am so proud to be your mama.
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